russell brand

October 23, 2008

Barnaby,

Is there any logic to my girlfriend liking the self-promoting Medusa that is Russell Brand, other than repressed desire affirmed by the safe rules of Guardian readership, or am I just jealous?

G

Hey G,

There is logic. He wears tight-fitting trousers, has a reputation as a fine swordsman and on occasion is very, very funny. My personal opinion is that he is hit and miss, but your girlfriend may only see the hits in darling Russell. The good news is that the chances are she’ll never meet him. The bad news is that if she does, he’ll inevitably fuck her and then you’ll be stuck with a goo-like discharge. And yes, you are jealous. Get over it. You have her whilst he is stuck with money, fame and women throwing themselves at his feet. His loss.

Cheers,

barnaby

My Suggested Soundtrack:

You’re So Vain – Carly Simon
Celebrity Skin – Hole
Inside Of You – Russell Brand