March 1, 2009
i’m addicted to men. hold on, scratch that. i’m addicted to older men. i mean, much older. i’m talking about more then a decade older. they’re taller, hotter, meaner, better at keeping me where i need to be. and that’s right on the edge.
but…
they also have more kids. and i’m too young to take any of those on.
barnaby – find me a young guy who’s going to give me what i need.
get them to write in.
gardenia x
Hey Gardenia,
Both male readers of this blog are welcome to send their photos in and i’ll happily forward them on (no, not those kind of photos)
But you know what? I think you’re complaining unnecessarily here. What’s a few decades between friends? Those old dudes know what to do with a lady. They’ve taken their time working it out. So why shouldn’t you benefit? And more importantly… why shouldn’t they benefit from their years of trial and error before passing on their prowess to young and nubile ladies? Then, you can show the younger boys what the nice old men helped you learn about yourselves.
Maybe Elton wasn’t singing about Simba in the Circle Of Life after all.
Get with the old dudes. They’re good. That’s what all of my girlfriends have told me anyway. Let me know how it goes. There’s always space for more knowledge.
Cheers,
barnaby
My suggested soundtrack:
Touch of grey – Grateful Dead
Connection – Elastica
It’s not me – Supergrass
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bigger man, blooms like flowers, nice. mice. men., old | 
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Posted by cheersbarnaby
October 23, 2008
Hi Barnaby,
I was out drinking with my best friend, we had a good time but in the cab home we started having an argument. Believe it or not, the row was about conspiracy theories. Ridiculous I know. Things quickly escalated and he ended up punching me in the face as he got out of the taxi. This was over a week ago now and we haven’t spoken since. Frankly, I want to beat the crap out of him. Should I?
Ben
Hey Ben,
To be honest, I would want to at least hit him so things are equal, but I’m actually going to suggest a compromise that could see you come out as the bigger man, make you feel better about it AND keep your friendship in tact. Here goes: make the first move and call him up, but act like NOTHING has happened. Invite him round or arrange to meet him somewhere. Once you have met up, he’ll soon bring up that infamous night, and may even take the chance to apologise.
Then all you need to do is act like you have absolutely no recollection of the incident whatsoever, thereby making your friend feel like less of a man as a result of his inability to scar you physically or emotionally. The gratification you get from his disappointment should far outweigh any you would get from punching him. Plus you won’t go to jail this way. Nice.
Cheers,
barnaby
My Suggested Soundtrack:
Eye Of The Tiger – Survivor
Fight For Your Right To Party – The Beastie Boys
Break Me gently – Doves
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Posted by cheersbarnaby
