February 4, 2009
Dear Barnaby,
Valentines day is coming up fast. I’ve never been great with the romantic side of things, so I was wondering if you could give me any advice? She wants me to be more romantic so i’m going to try. I was thinking of sending some flowers. Are red roses too cliche?
Yours
Mr Romance.
Hey Mr Romance,
I like this, a good, topical question that only slightly makes me want to vomit on a passing small child.
Firstly, in my opinion – just getting her some flowers and then sitting back waiting for your sex-based reward is far too cliched yes. Put some thought into it man!
It’s not just about the smile you see on her little cherubic face when she sees what you’ve done for Valentines. It’s more than that. It’s about making sure you’ve amazed not only her with your brilliance and originality, but have also done something so cool that she rushes to tell her friends what her boyfriend has come up with, making them so jealous that they go and bust their boyfriends’ balls for being lame and just taking them out to Pizza Express before going down to the south-side action zone for the first time in months.
So, here is my advice…
Organise a treasure hunt where the surprises keep coming. I mean multiple gifts (one of which is flowers), all linked to each other with simple yet funny clues, culminating in her finding her way to a hotel room in which you are already waiting, slippers and robe on, champagne in hand. It takes preparation, thought and creativity but you can do it, and TRUST ME – the rewards will make it all worth while. Good luck Romeo.
Cheers,
barnaby
My suggested soundtrack:
Happy Valentine’s day – Outkast
No Surprises – Benjamin Costello
You’re my first, my last, my everything – Barry White
1 Comment | 
advice, flowers, gifts, surprise, treasure hunt., valentines | 
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Posted by cheersbarnaby
November 30, 2008
dear barnaby,
This is kind of a weird question, but the other night, my boyfriend of 7 months and I were in bed and he tried to have anal sex with me. I have never done this before. When he tried it, the pressure felt good, but I feel like it’s dirty and also that it might hurt if he really put it in. I want to make him feel good, but I just don’t think I can do this. Mainly because it feels so wrong. Is there something else I can do that guys like just as much?
Thanks,
Ashley
Hey Ashley,
The only way anal sex has even a vague possibility of being enjoyed by both sides is if you are very relaxed with each other, and with the idea of what you are about to try.
Let’s hope and assume that he is interested in having anal sex with you for the right reasons – i.e. he feels relaxed with you, is happy in the relationship and wants to be as intimate with you as possible – exploring the possibility of giving you pleasure that you haven’t felt before. However, if you are not relaxed and open to the possibility that you might love it then it should not be persued.
You seem very sure that anal sex is something that you don’t feel comfortable doing. That is better than being willing to do something you are unsure about just because your boyfriend wants you to. If you went ahead with it on that basis then he would be able to tell you were feeling weird about it and there is no way either of you would find it particularly enjoyable.
In terms of your question at the end of your message – I think the question you should actually be asking is “is there something else I can do that he likes just as much?”. Every guy is different so I couldn’t possibly say what your boyfriend is into. I can only suggest asking him, and if you are too shy then try new things with him and from his body language you’ll be able to tell whether he is enjoying himself or not.
Good luck,
Cheers
barnaby
My suggested soundtrack:
Backdoor Honey – The Deadbeats
Relax – Frankie Goes To Hollywood
Back Door Man – The Doors
Leave a Comment » | Help, advice, anal, backdoor, boyfriend, wants, what do I do? | Permalink
Posted by cheersbarnaby
November 30, 2008
dear barnaby,
This is kind of a weird question, but the other night, my boyfriend of 7 months and I were in bed and he tried to have anal sex with me. I have never done this before. When he tried it, the pressure felt good, but I feel like it’s dirty and also that it might hurt if he really put it in. I want to make him feel good, but I just don’t think I can do this. Mainly because it feels so wrong. Is there something else I can do that guys like just as much?
Thanks,
Ashley
Hey Ashley,
The only way anal sex has even a vague possibility of being enjoyed by both sides is if you are very relaxed with each other, and with the idea of what you are about to try.
Let’s hope and assume that he is interested in having anal sex with you for the right reasons – i.e. he feels relaxed with you, is happy in the relationship and wants to be as intimate with you as possible – exploring the possibility of giving you pleasure that you haven’t felt before. However, if you are not relaxed and open to the possibility that you might love it then it should not be persued.
You seem very sure that anal sex is something that you don’t feel comfortable doing. That is better than being willing to do something you are unsure about just because your boyfriend wants you to. If you went ahead with it on that basis then he would be able to tell you were feeling weird about it and there is no way either of you would find it particularly enjoyable.
In terms of your question at the end of your message – I think the question you should actually be asking is “is there something else I can do that he likes just as much?”. Every guy is different so I couldn’t possibly say what your boyfriend is into. I can only suggest asking him, and if you are too shy then try new things with him and from his body language you’ll be able to tell whether he is enjoying himself or not.
Good luck,
Cheers
barnaby
My suggested soundtrack:
Backdoor Honey – The Deadbeats
Relax – Frankie Goes To Hollywood
Back Door Man – The Doors
Leave a Comment » | Help, advice, anal, backdoor, boyfriend, wants, what do I do? | Permalink
Posted by cheersbarnaby
