Dear Cheers Barnaby,
I am attracted to an actor but people keep warning me off him. Why would they do that?
x
Hey X,
I’d be wary of going out with an actor because…
1) actors are one of only a few types of people who need to be center of attention more than me. And I’m an egotist.
2) i’ve heard actors say things like “that is so deep, I really feel how your character has evolved from depression through to aggression via assertion”.
3) most actors don’t understand why people find it difficult to spend more than 30 minutes with them at a time. Unless they’re also actors.
4) when certain actors I know work and are ‘on location’ they sleep with at least one fellow actor despite the fact they are married with two children. They justify it as part of their ‘art’.
5) a lot of actors are often so beautiful they don’t even notice they are capable of the above four things.
Cheers,
barnaby
My suggested soundtrack:
Clint Eastwood – Gorillaz
Robert De Niro’s Waiting – Bananarama
Mama made me a pimp/Wake up motherfucker – Kennedy
Posted by cheersbarnaby 