barnaby,
Where have you been?
I have a problem. A few years ago I was unlucky in love and decided that I would put on an act in order to hide my shyness, insecurities and lack of experience. To some degree it worked as women seemed to be more attracted to the new ‘bad boy’ me far more than they had been to the real me.
The thing is though, now the line has become blurred and I have no idea how to be myself in front of women – and i’m getting quite bored of meaningless flings with people who think I am one thing, when really I am something completely different. Whenever I meet somebody who I think is really special I just clam up and have no idea what to say to them. I would like that to change.
Thanks,
Anonymous from England.
Hey Anonymous,
The act does work. We all do it at times and it can be a good thing to hide behind. I think the key is not to be afraid of always keeping a little back, but also not to live a continuous lie in front of women as in my experience the good ones can spot that a mile off.
Don’t be afraid to be shy and show a little vulnerability, but also keep some mystery and don’t give away too much too soon. In terms of the girls you meet who you deem to be too special to talk to… don’t be afraid. From your letter I can tell that you care much more than the average jock, and special girls like caring guys – just so long as they’re not pathetic, needy and over keen… hence you needing to keep that element of mystery.
Go for the ones you really like. The chances are you’ll get one, and then I can go buy a wedding hat. Niceness.
Cheers,
barnaby
My suggested soundtrack:
There goes the fear – Doves
He doesn’t know why – Fleet Foxes
Love is a deserter – The Kills
Posted by cheersbarnaby 