Cheersbarnaby

Hey Barnaby!

So I don’t want to sound desperate…. BUT.
I’m 22, i’m not ugly… In fact this is why I have this problem. Almost 2 months ago I moved to nyc from London, I have just finished college and my agency in london placed me with people in new york as i am now able to try out modelling full time (commercial – nothing AMAZING, but something), I’m tall, black and skinny… Most comparable to like Joy Bryant I guess… Maybe less commercial.

I’ve been feeling pretty shit, I left my friends and family was looking forward to this new fresh start, but I haven’t met anyone! AT ALL. It’s depressing, I am now homesick, but don’t want to be lame and get on the next plane back… I’m not really into the bar scene, but even if i was can I even go alone, isn’t that soo lame! All the girls I’ve met through work are really young, and the older ones are in relationships or like live far away… I am getting paranoid that I am going to spend my days at home talking to london friends online and watching law and order and eating crap, which would ruin EVERYTHING.

Maybe I’m not attractive to people here?

I don’t know what to do, I’m spending the holidays alone in my tribeca studio… I have just been looking at lame classes on craigslist, i joined equinox, I SMILE and I am open… BUT still.

Advice please!!!

Tilly.

Hey Tilly,

The first bit of good news is that you’re in the best city in the world. Not just for meeting people, but for having an amazing time whenever you want to, and with some of the funniest and most beautiful people in the world. But you knew all that.

Now, in regards to your dilemma. I know it well. And you know why we have this dilemma? Because we’re from England. We are English. Therefore we are over-polite, overly apologetic and would much rather keep our heads down and avoid people than have the balls to meet people straight up. This has nothing to do with how attractive you are. Frankly, that you’re attractive means you can meet and make friends with far more people than if you were ugly. Sorry to say it out loud people, but its the truth. It really is.

So, what should you do? Well, here is where I need to give you some advice based on a Danish friend of mine. She moved over to London alone, she is 20 and literally knew nobody when she arrived. NOT A SOUL. And how did she deal with it? She just took advantage of not being British and spoke to people. Anywhere, everywhere, she would introduce herself and talk to people. That she is beautiful and funny no doubt helped, but still she had the testicles (without actually having them) to take the risks and talk to people. And because of this she now has more friends than me, and she’s only been here a few months.

Tilly, get out of your no doubt amazing studio in Tribeca and meet people. Drink whiskey first if necessary. Certainly helps me. And when you’ve met your maid of honour, best friend and husband all because of this advice let me know, and i’ll buy a hat.

Cheers,

barnaby