Ok,
So, I met this guy about two weeks ago. At the Dolphin (is that
important, says something right? anyways). First date: we meet up on
professional terms because i said i would be willing to help him with
some work. Which was great. We were working together, hanging out, all
very casual.
Second date: we meet up again under ‘professional’ terms
or whatever. But clearly the work is an excuse for him to see me. I
bring this up and he said yes. Then he kisses me and all’s great in my
world.
Third date: we meet up just to have a date. Two glasses of wine
in, he tells me that he has a date with another girl on Saturday. So,
I’m a bit thrown. He tries to reason that the date was made before we
ever even met, and that it would be rude to cancel at this point, and
he wasn’t sure if I just wanted to keep things professional between
us. What the fuck? I give him credit for the honesty, but if he really
liked me, wouldn’t he just cancel anyways? Right?
Thanks,
L
Hey L,
Well, the guy is an idiot. Not because he has another date, as let’s face it you’ve only met each other a few times so can do whatever the hell you want. But for him to have told you about said date is verging on stupidity. There is just no good reason for him to have done that. It immediately puts a dampener on what should be the best bits of any relationship – the getting to know each other, the working things out, the intense excitement of it all.
He could have felt guilty and had an attack of the honesty, but don’t give him any credit for that because, like you said, if he felt that bad and was that worried about it he’d just tell the other girl that he couldn’t make it. It’s not like he’s afraid to have a difficult conversation or anything!
My instinct is that the guy is using this as a way of telling you that your relationship may only ever be casual, if anything at all. If I were you i’d leave him to his own devices, let him go on his date and see what happens. If you let him get away with this then I’m sure there’ll be plenty of these ridiculous revelations to come and you won’t have a leg to stand on because this will have set the precedent.
Or maybe, just maybe, if you show some strength and tell him to fuck off, he’ll realise what a complete imbecile he’s been and start begging you to reconsider, and admitting what a huge mistake he’s made. At which point, you’ll no doubt see him as too needy and not be interested anymore anyway.
Which at least will be on your terms.
Cheers,
barnaby.
