dear barnaby,
i can’t stop having sex. i feel like a pubescent teenage boy. for so long it just wasn’t happening for me. I wanted a boyfriend so bad, and no new men were coming my way. ever since i realized that a relationship is NOT what I want, the men are flocking, and so are the opportunities to have sex. its hot, its almost summer, its LA… and i want some lovin’ bad.
since i love to have sex, i have a really hard time saying no. im always safe about it, and i dont run off into dark corners of bars with strangers and pull up my skirt, but i have become much more permiscuous about it, and am so unemotionally attached that I’m worried I won’t be able to reverse. if i don’t have sex, i masturbate every night. i feel like im one of the boys i used to hate when i was relationship crazed. do you think ill ever be able to settle? HOW do i when i’m having so much fun?
my best friend is worried my reputation is at stake, but im an adult, and a sexual person, and if people dont care for me because i like to have sex then i feel like something is wrong with them and they shouldnt be in my life anyway.
so, what should i do?
a very horny lady
Hey AVHL,
It’s 2009, you’re single, you’re an adult. You should be able to do anything you god damn want. And you can, of course. However, sadly not everyone is as open minded and liberal as you. And because of this, people will frown upon you for being as open sexually (excuse the pun) as you are.
The only bit i’d say is slightly worrying is your inability to say no. You saying that implies that you sometimes sleep with people that you wouldn’t sleep with if you weren’t feeling somehow pressured into it. From what you’ve written i’d say you’re attractive so you have your choice, why not make your choices with people who you’re actually at least a bit into. But either way, as you said – you like sex, so you don’t mind.
My opinion is that you should keep doing what you want, and getting the gratification from it, but maybe not tell everyone all the intimate details. Of course those close to you should love you for who you are and not care about what you get up to, but the worry could come down the line when you do meet someone who you want to get seriously involved with. At that point, take it from me, he won’t want to be hearing about your promiscous past from other people.
And in answer to your question about not being able to settle? You absolutely will, when the time is right and the person is right that’s all you’ll want. And if in 30 years that hasn’t happened I give you full permission to write back in and tell me i’m useless. I’ll even give you your money back.
Cheers,
barnaby
My suggested soundtrack:
Break me gently – doves
I want your sex – George Michael
Friggin’ in the riggin’ – The Sex Pistols
