Dear B,
I’m dating this boy. I really liked him, but when we finally went to get
intimate the other night he got into bed naked…apart from his socks. I
asked him to take them off and he tried to act like it was normal he had
forgotten! I still think he’s funny, and attractive, but now every time I
look at him I can’t help think of that image and start to wretch. Do you
think I’m suffering from PTSD?
Many thanks,
Feet-Hater
Hey Feet-Hater,
He’s one of those. He watches the porno, sees the socks on the well-endowed man in the porno then sub-consciously links the two together. In his mind, if he has the socks on…big boy is coming out.
If you’re a genuine podaphobe (and I suspect you are) then this was the last thing you needed. It’s over. It doesn’t matter what he does or what he says, you’ll always think of his feet. His disgusting, sock-ridden, scaly feet that he didn’t want you to see during his most vulnerable and intimate moments.
As for the post-traumatic-stress-disorder. Get over yourself. You just hate feet. Don’t try and make yourself sound cooler than you are. Although I have ADHD. Which means i’m compatible with my new flatscreen TV. Thank god.
Cheers,
barnaby slater. BSC (Hons) Podophobia Studies.
My suggested soundtrack:
Business Time – Flight of the conchords
Knocks me off my feet – Stevie Wonder
Shuffle your feet – Black rebel motorcycle club
