Barnaby,
I am kind of interested in these two different boys who happen to be, as far as I can tell, close friends. Although I know neither of them very well, I think both of them are also slightly interested in me. I don’t think they have ever talked about me though. Since I so rarely find a boy I’m interested in, how do I go about this without choosing the wrong one or waiting too long until they’re both over it. Ps. I like to let boys come to me.
Love, anonymous
Hey anonymous,
I think the key to this is in the phrase “kind of interested” that you wrote right at the top. My guess is that this actually means “really like”, and the chances are that you prefer one of the two slightly more then the other. Liking two people at the same time is a way of hedging your bets and putting a guard up, therefore not allowing yourself to admit that you are properly into someone in case it all goes to shit and never comes off. This is a similar thing to the way you like to “let boys come to me”, as that way the likelihood of rejection and dented pride is far less.
This is all good, and many of us do the same thing as a protection mechanism. However, it can prove a problem if the guy/s you like do a similar thing, in which case you may never know if you like each other. So, to your questions: as I said above, I think deep down you probably know which one you prefer, so forget about the other one as that would involve settling for second place. Then, once you have worked out which one you are going for, just do what comes naturally – find ways to spend time with him, flirt with him, put him in a position where he’s not totally sure if you like him or are just teasing him, but where he knows he has to keep pushing the envelope to find out. Then, if you do like each other, and neither of you nervously fuck it up then everything else will fall into place. In terms of the two’s friendship, if you have never been with either of them romantically before then its just not your problem. Just make your choice, stick with it, and reel him in.
Good Luck.
Cheers,
barnaby
My Suggested Soundtrack:
What’s A Girl To Do – Bat For Lashes
All Sparks – Editors
All To Shit – Lightspeed Champion
